Tuesday, February 02, 2016

IN MEMORIAM OF YOU

These past few months... weeks... I remembered your name... your face.  I tried searching for you online but I couldn't find you.  Last night it occurred to me again. So, I kept searching for any link that may lead to you. 

Related imageAnd gradually... immobile... I found a person that I have known in the past, he is no stranger to me, which is your cousin.  I was just skim-browsing his profile, and one photo that he posted captured my eye, and BOOM! It was a photo of the sky, with some caption; my heart was throbbing, tremulous that it shouldn’t be real. And then, and there, read the comments... It was confirmed!  You are gone!  I was in total consternation and shocked at the very second that I saw it. 

I couldn’t grasp my breath.  I stood up... walked... sat... lay down again... stood up... drank a glass of water, trying to process the very thought that you were gone.  I looked and read again if it was really true. 

Yes, it is... you have departed... demised… gone... for good... and for real...

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I cried a river when you left me.  I must pick up myself. I fell for you for a million years.  Your image still haunts me.  I loved you, and you loved me, that love was unparalleled.  It was so true.  I can’t believe that you are no longer here on Earth.
  
When we parted ways, it took me quite some time to move on...  I did... the hurt was gone...  but every single night I was crying... crying myself to sleep.
  
I reminisced all the good times that we shared.  The very first time that I met you, I was scared; I wasn’t ready for that relationship because I was still mending and nursing a broken heart then.  You were never half of the person that I used to love, but still, I gave you a chance to prove that you are worthy...  and I fall... fell… fallen gravely in love for you.  I can’t count the countless days that we shared.  You treated me like I am the most powerful person on earth; you taught so much about life, the reality, and freedom, happiness despite me having a very intricate life. 

Up to this time, whenever I have thoughts of you.  I am thankful that our paths have crossed.  You will always be in my mind, heart, and soul.

Now, it redounded back to the past hurts that you caused me.  At this instant, you are permanently gone. 

I guess I should start forgetting you again.  The heartbreaking part was, why do I have to know that you are deceased and departed?  I am now living a happy life; I am in love with someone new right now.  I am contented.  That's a fact.  

Needless to say, people who have crossed our lives in the past, they remained there. Repressed.  I love you before, and forever you will be someone special here with me.

Image result for missing you in heavenYour memoirs and image will remain buried in my soul.  I am so sorry for all the hurt and pain that I caused you.  Now, you will know the truth.  It was only you and no one else during our time.  You must have regretted that.  Now, you can say to yourself that I am true to you.  I know you are here at this very minute,  I can feel your presence.  You must rest now.  I will be fine.

Please guide me with whatever I do.  I am proud of all your accomplishments, remember that.  I always will.  

Thank you for everything...  Till we meet again...



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