Showing posts with label Valentines MamaBa love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Valentines MamaBa love. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

February 14th

It was the wee hours of the night. I was lying down in bed. Having the cool breeze of the air-con, it was a comfortable place to doze of to Dream Land, however I couldn't get that sleep. I was tossing and turning...  I was browsing my mobile, surfed the net, and tried to figure out my old webpage account, and amidst that,  I somehow re-activated it, and found these lovely photos.  Speaking of the pictures,  it was somewhere 2000-2002, were HD copies were not yet concise

These were taken on a Valentines Day.  I organized somehow to ask my Uncles to wear red,  I made a simple pasta, and some canape's, It was just an ordinary day, but I want to remember that these were parts of our family

It was a mixture of pain and happiness when I saw these.  I remembered our old ancestral home.  It was one of the days of my existence here on earth.  I miss them.  My Grandma Mama Ba, as we call her.  Whenever I close my eyes,  I can feel her warm embrace,  I can still hear her soft sweet voice, and every time we talked,  I know that up and wherever she is now, she misses me too.  It hurts every single moment that I thought that she was just there in Manila, but then I always figured that she is already gone... The tears that kept flowing in my eyes seemed so hard to erase... like the memory of her face...

I miss the way you scold me, the way you laugh, the way you cook, the way you fixed my stuff, the clothes in my cabinet are always so tidy,  I miss your smell, the touch of your hands in my hair,  I just miss you each and every single day, ever since you went away.  I dont know how to stop crying and weeping whenever I think of you,  I know that these are repressed feelings when you left me.

This past few months,  I feel so alone,  please Mama Ba, wherever you are, kindly help and guide me, as I am now so desperately sad, lonely, and helpless.  I wish there is a hotline in heaven, wherein I can just give you even a minutes of call, to ask how are you doing,  and tell you how is my day like.  I dont really know if you see us, especially me everyday,  cause if you do, can you please give me a hug, because I badly needed that now.

I hate how life turned out ever since you were gone.  I miss our life back then, when everything are all in place.  The sound of the old house, and the people inside of it are still here in my memory.

I love you each and every single moment of my life.

I miss you every time I remember your name.

I hope that someday, we will meet again, and tell you how life is on earth from the day that you left...