Wednesday, March 02, 2022

SOME GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST

How long has it been since we parted ways, I still have thoughts of you...  Today I was browsing my files, and saw a bunch of photos that werent uploaded, I froze, and cringe in sadness as I gaze in every photo of us.  I stoppped.  I cant bear the thought that you were gone.  Yesterday I saw a photo of the new one,  I am not sure, but I think thats the one.  I couldn't feel a thing.  I couldn't wish you happiness, neither come back.

I was hurt,  I can't go back to you.  I love you still but what you made me feel made me detract from my feelings.I don't want us to keep breaking each others heart,  I have set you free ( as I thought)...

You will be forever in my heart.  The memories that kept lingering in my mind just sits there,  I wanted to stop playing those ended happy thoughts as it breaks my heart over and over.  I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry but my tears just dried up.  I just couldn't bear the fact that its over.

My brain is is deranged and disarray. I could have loved you better. Could have given you the best of me, but all I have given was the worst in me.  You were perfect in my eyes, but I was so blinded by my crazy and evil self 

I am not capable of loving you, as I cannot even love my own self.

I am selfish and disoriented. Perhaps I am really damaged from my past. And that is irreparably  dumb.  Needless to say I'm sorry for my sore self.  You deserve better than me. 

I will always love you, and I will never ever forget you. You made me realize so many things, brought up happiness to my sadness. Perhaps I am just ignoring the fact that I have depression, an incurable one. I cannot see the sun even on a sunny and bright day. It always rains and all I see is darkness. I can't be contentedly happy. What is wrong with me?

I just hope that someday soon, we will be fine. And so that when we look at each others eyes, the pain and suffering that we both felt will be gone.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally, thank you for taking care of me. And most importantly thank you for seeing the best in me when I, myself could not see.

May your life be as worderful as you ever imagined it to be, because you truly deserved it all.

Goodbye my love...